I love hair. I do. I went to school for it. I do it for friends all the time. I have always liked hair. I’m not going to baby you. If you ask me what I think of your hair, Ima give you an honest answer. I thought it was way too thick and that the bangs make you look fatter.

Don’t talk about fat when speaking to a girl, gentlemen. 

You’d think I would have learned this by now.

Don’t criticize anything. If a girl asks you if you like something about them.. don’t answer. It’s a trick question.

You’ll surely get in trouble for whatever your answer happens to be.

IIIII don’t baby people. Everyone should know this by now. ‘Specially about hair. Damn it. You think after knowing me for all these years you’d know not to fucking ask me about hair unless you want an honest opinion.

Boohoo. I don’t like your hair. I don’t care that you’re crying over that.

You’re a baby. Get the fuck over it. It’s just hair. And I’m only one person.

You’ll survive.

I promise.